Yeah, tonight isn’t going to be good:/ I wish I didn’t have to hear them. Can I drive away so I don’t have to listen to this? I don’t need this right now.
I’m sorry this is all my fault you argue. I’m sorry I am such a shitty daughter. You taught me to be passionate for the things I enjoy, and once I find those things, the problems began to show up even more. Do I just give those up? Would that stop you from arguing even more? I’m sorry I can’t make you proud. I’m sorry I mess up all the time. I don’t want my brother and sister to end up like me. Please stop it. I’ll give it all up for them. I’ll quit polo. I’ll go to a community college. I’ll stop driving. I’ll stop going to club. I’ll drop all my AP classes so you don’t have to spend money on me. I’ll stop applying to colleges. I’ll stop surfing. Please stop. There is no happiness here. I know I am not happy, but I see that my siblings are starting to understand what is going on and I don’t want them to end up like me, so fucked up. I see it in their eyes that they are losing happiness. I’m sorry I’ve been asking for so much. I don’t want to be a burden. I want to make you proud. I don’t try to be a bad daughter. I don’t know what I do. I’m sorry I have caused so much damage to this family. Maybe it is best that I leave it.